God as Babysitter

Why Transcendence Is for Toddlers

A Blog by Finn the Modern Druid

Everyone starts life the same way — helpless, drooling, and looking for someone bigger to keep the monsters away.
Later we invent religion so we can keep doing exactly that, only with better vocabulary.

Enter “God,” the all-knowing cosmic babysitter.
He watches over you as you get accustomed to your local, unexpected surroundings, forgives you, tucks you in at death, and occasionally throws you a rainbow to keep you calm.
It’s emotional daycare with incense.

1. The Universal Code, Not the Universal Parent

The universe doesn’t care, it codes.
Everything — ants, galaxies, accountants — runs on one universal algorithm, the Procedure.
It’s perfect self-organisation all the way down.

When a system can’t yet run its own loops in a new environement, it needs external help: training wheels, laws, priests, governments, gurus — pick your flavour of babysitter.
That’s where the idea of transcendence comes from.

“Please, mighty invisible being, make my life make sense while I learn to tie my procedural shoes.”

2. Transcendence: The Cognitive Pacifier

The immature mind needs a beyond because it can’t yet handle the within.
It wants Daddy in the sky to fix its bugs.
It’s a nice fantasy until you grow up and realise Daddy was you all along, running on autopilot.

Believing in transcendence is like believing your smartphone is haunted because the apps work better than you do.

3. Maturity = No More Sky Managers

A mature emergent doesn’t pray for updates; it runs them.
It doesn’t look up; it looks in.
Once the internal algorithm stabilises — once you can self-regulate, self-organise, and adapt — the old God model becomes redundant.

That’s when you discover the real heresy:

You don’t need a transcendent; you just need competence.

4. Retirement Party for the Divine

Every belief in a supernatural regulator is a résumé for the dependent.
Once you stop outsourcing responsibility to the infinite, the infinite stops answering emails.

God isn’t dead.
He’s retired — because you finally learned to walk without holding His hand.

So the next time someone says they’re seeking transcendence, tell them gently:
“You mean you’re still in procedural kindergarten. Keep coding.”

Grow up, iterate well, and stop praying to your own training wheels.

The evolution of transcendence

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